Gay Still Not Okay in Sports

Jocks balk at coming out: Tewksbury `It's the fear of rejection, of being hurt'
Olympic swim champion Mark Tewksbury was almost part of hockey history, helping the first gay NHLer come out of the closet.

"We almost had someone coming out," said the gold medallist in the 100-metre backstroke at the 1992 Barcelona Games. "It was a very big deal. It looked like someone was finally going to do it and I was part of a small team that was in on it. And the person backed out at the 23rd hour, just couldn't do it. I also respect that. You can't force anybody."

Tewksbury, 38, revealed he was gay in December 1998, six years after he retired from swimming. Since then he has become a high-profile advocate on gay rights issues and is the author of a new book, Inside Out: Straight Talk From A Gay Jock.

Tewksbury was brought in to help by the Gay and Lesbian Athletes Association when an NHL player decided he wanted to come out in 2004. Tewksbury said the player is still active and he knows there are more gay players in the NHL, but they're too afraid to come out.

"They just don't want to talk about it," he said. "They keep it quiet. Teams know that one of their teammates are gay and they keep it hidden and quiet. I personally know people, yes. I'm not just speaking on speculation."

Tewksbury, who writes in his book of the painful double life he led before coming out and of the persecution he faced in his youth from classmates who thought he was gay, said he understands why gay athletes would dread being exposed.

"It's all fear based. It's the fear of rejection, the fear of losing contracts, the fear of being hurt, the fear of ostracization, all of it. I can relate," he said, adding it might be hardest for players in contact sports like hockey and football because they could become targets. "I think you would make yourself a little more vulnerable and you can't do it by yourself, I don't think. You need to have a team support."

Still, Tewksbury said he thinks society would be ready to handle it if, say, an NFL quarterback admitted to being gay.

"I think it's going to be a bit of a shock at first, although why it would be shocking is arguable. It would certainly cause a stir. And then, as things do, you get over it. It's incredible how quickly as human beings we adapt. And we can change our minds and perspectives, but we can't change it if somebody doesn't push it."