(my father, my mother & me. October 1971, Woodstock, Ontario - Canada)This will be the first year since I have been on this earth that I will not be celebrating this day. Last June 25th, my father passed away in his sleep, one week after Father's Day.
This year's Father's Day is also the last holiday without my father in my life. We (my mom & I) have now been alone for Christmas, New Year, Valentine's Day, Easter and so on.
They say that the first year without a parent is the hardest. You are constantly saying “oh remember last year when dad…” The first year also becomes a time of transition and of developing new routines.
If we are lucky, we develop new traditions. Reluctantly at first but as time goes on, you do adapt and make the best of things.
Over the last year, there have been little things that remind me of my father, that come to me at the oddest times.
A few months ago, I was making a presentation to a room full of Vice Presidents and senior partners and while I was presenting, all of a sudden I remembered how my father taught me how to fish.
Last week, I looked at a half used bottle of cologne still in his bathroom at home and I remembered the look on his face when he opened it at Christmas two years ago.
I think about him everyday.
Gone in a blink of an eye – I miss you dad. A lot.
12 comments:
A very thoughtful post. I am sorry for your loss...
that is so touching. you're right gone in a blink of an eye. Life's too short. I guess it sounds a bit cliche but you have to cherish every moment.
-thx for sharing your story
A wonderful post. Eloquent and moving. My Dad died in 1968 and although we do learn to go on and make lives for ourselves, still, all these years later, I find myself thinking "Oh, Dad would have loved that movie" or telling my partner "you know, my Dad and you would have liked each other so much ..." and as you so beautifully said, it happens at the oddest times.
A thoughtful and moving post. I, too, understand your loss. I lost my father six years ago and my mother and I still mourn his loss. A half used bottle of Brut cologne still lies on the bathroom counter to remind us of him. It won't be easy recovering from such a great loss, but trust me, time does help, but you never truly fully heal. The opening line from Destiny's Child's "Emotions" best sums it up: "It's over and done, but the heartache still lives inside." Good Luck and remember you are not alone...
My father passed on in 1985 and my mother in 1999. We do adjust but it is a challenge at first! Thanks for posting your thoughts.
im sorry for your loss, i come from a small family. i grew up with a grandma, great aunt, great uncle and my parents. over the past 4 years i have lost my grandma, great uncle and then my great aunt. its just me and my parents (both in there mid-70's and not in great health). i have tended these past few years saying a lot of "remember when's" about those i miss, but realize that my parents are not going to be with me forever. i tend to spend each holiday, and a lot of non holidays, being closer to them and with them. i even moved closer after my great aunt died. so, i understand what you mean, and tend to think of strange things that make me laugh about those that are gone. im guessing the brain just lets you handle what you can over time. i miss them much, and dont know what ill do being over 30 and an orphan.
thanks,
rich
Nuno,
Thx 4 that. Nothing is more strong than the bond of love. Each night before you sleep take a deep breath and smile with your dad's every nuance uppermost in mind.
Trust me you will recall on awakening having had the most lucid, astral plane dream encounters with him.
love never ends, your relationship endures, just tune into the right places and you'll find each other...
sweet dreams and now the image of you and your mom is even mor moving.
Regards
DSH
=^..^=
My dad passed in 1996, yet I constantly think of him and am reminded of him. Last night when I went to work there were some statuettes of bald eagles that one of our guests had up for sale. The eagle was my father's favorite bird, the statuettes were a beautiful reminder of him on Father's Day. It does get less painful but the memories make it better. I can't see a Norelco commercial without thinking of my dad who shaved ever since I can remember with a Norelco. I am sorry for your loss, but hold the memories close and he will always be with you.
That is suppose to be such a sweet way to go--in ones sleep. But for those of us remaining it is tough. I hope you and your mom are a comfort for one another. Sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing the pic!
Hi
Your post really touched me. I recently lost my father, aged 60. He had died on his lunch break, at home with my mother.
This will be my first Fathers Day without him.
Like you he pop's into my thoughts at odd times and I miss him so much. My mother is completely shattered and struggling to find her own life.
My sympathies to you and your Mum.
Thank you for a great blog
You have me in tears!
Chris
Nice comments from all and thanks for sharing. Though it's the cycle of life, it's never easy to lose a loved one. I lost my mom to cancer a few years ago and I had to say goodbye to her one day while she was lying in a hospital bed, to weak to move but completely coherent. I left the room knowing I would never see her again but lucky enough to have a numerous conversations that provided the closure one needs -especially at holidays and family events. Hang in there, it does get easier, and hopefully your dreams will be as positive as mine have been.
di
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